What is a family
If it is divided strait down the middle,
Taking away the unity and
All of the things that define love.
That family is mine, divided with
Divorces and step-siblings,
Broken hearts and the
Incosistent thought of trust.
It's an equation.
Divide the biter parents,
Subtract the dissapearing brothers,
And add the unfamiliar faces where
My heart rests.
The answer:
One man's mistakes, and
One womans wisdom to notice
That some things will never change.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
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4 comments:
!! wow. i really really like this piece. awesome free write. ... i love the way you closed out the piece. amazing job :)
I like the idea of "disappearing brothers", I can def. relate.
I agree with sunny skys also, you closed out this poem so strongly. Also without biasness. You are not incorporating a harshful tone would have made the piece less effective at the end.
Nice job.
I come from a similar background so I can understand your approuch.
My one critique, however, would be to not be so upfront with this line:
"That family is mine"
I think it would be more affective if you give a subbtle glimps that the family is yours??
No what I mean?
i love this poem! i really liked how you used math in it to compare
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